Goodnight, Goodbye
by Namibean
Summary: A worst case scenario What If? after ch 900. If you have NOT read ch 900 yet, then it will have spoilers.


_I had a dream of this after reading ch 900. I don't believe it will happen, of course, but I still wanted to write it. And yes, I cried a lot._

 _One Piece and its characters are property of Eiichiro Oda._

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What was it like to die? Was it a painful experience or was it more like a flash? Maybe it was like a gunshot? Bang and your life is gone? Was it peaceful? Was it excruciating? Does it matter how strong the will to live is? Do you need a reason to stay?

Death was something Nami fought and avoided for so long. There were reasons to do so whenever she faced it. Being afraid of death was healthy. It was how she managed to stay alive for 20 years. But now that she was nearing the end of her life, all of those disturbing questions from childhood began to rise to the surface.

Everything was dark. Muted colors and noises swirled around her head while she remembered how she got here. The Queen Mama Chanter was approaching the Thousand Sunny in the open seas off the coast of Cacao Island. The Straw Hats managed to retrieve Sanji-kun, who in turn saved Luffy from a mess of Big Mom Pirates so that they could try to escape. Then they sailed within firing range of one of the largest ships in Big Mom's fleet.

After the cannon blast, it all became a blur. The last image Nami remembered seeing was the crew's jolly roger floating in the syrupy sea before a large fireball blew right towards her eyes. Where was the rest of the crew? Did anyone else survive? Where was she being held? How much time had passed? She wasn't sure, but she overheard small tidbits of information that helped her piece together some semblance of her situation… and it wasn't pretty.

"Boss Jinbe managed to save that weird raccoon creature and skeleton. Big Mom was so thankful. She really wanted to add those two to her collection."

"Too bad that the roulette wasn't as merciful on him."

"Ah, that's just fate."

"What about Straw Hat?"

"It's assumed he sunk to the bottom of the sea like the piece of trash he is. I still can't believe he beat Katakuri-sama."

"I thought trash floats?"

"Bah! Whatever! You get my point."

"Wasn't there a rabbit mink with them?"

"Yeah, she disappeared. It's a shame. Daifuku-sama wanted to pay her back for ruining his ship."

"Is that why he's in such a foul mood lately…"

There were a few conversations like this everyday, at least from what Nami could tell. Sometimes the voices were distant. Sometimes they were muffled. They almost always seemed to be the latest gossip on the Straw Hats, though. The details would change as different information became available. Although Nami couldn't seem to respond, open her eyes, or even move, the visitors still had enough decency to not mention her in their conversations. They also neglected to include a certain cook in their gossip, until one day…

"Did you see that Lady Pudding and her groom decided tomorrow would be their wedding day?"

"I saw that in the papers! Lady Pudding is so kind. To think that she would agree to marry that pirate even after his dead captain ruined their wedding the first time."

 _Pirate…?_ Nami tried to focus her hearing.

"I guess Mama agreed to let him live after Lady Pudding told her that he helped her make the cake that stopped the rampage."

" **That** guy?! There's no way in hell he could've helped Lady Pudding make that cake! Have you seen him?!"

"Well… I'm more curious about how he got his bounty, but whatever. If that's who Lady Pudding chose to marry, she must see more to him than we do."

"She has a heart of gold to marry that Black Leg Sanji. What a thug! He doesn't deserve such a sweet girl!"

"Sweet" wasn't exactly the first word that came to mind when Nami thought of Pudding. She wasn't what she seemed when they first met. There was her plan to kill Sanji-kun during the tea party. But after the ceremony, Pudding seemed to have a change of heart… or hearts. She was madder than a box of cats, but she tried to help the Straw Hats escape by assisting with making the cake for Big Mom. Nami remembered the three heart eyes Pudding gave Sanji among the threats and crying in the Seducing Woods. She never thought it would be anything deeper than that.

The next day, wedding bells rang throughout all of Tottoland. It was so loud that even Nami could hear them in her clouded mind. There was no gossip session that day, but she didn't need any further information. Sanji-kun was now married to Pudding. That was the day that Nami began to feel her will slipping.

Three days was all it took. A drowned captain, a murdered helmsman, the doctor and musician locked up like circus freaks, and a married off cook was what was left of the present crew. They had failed and suffered a complete loss. Nami couldn't think of how Zoro, Robin, Franky, and Usopp would react to the news. Maybe they already heard about how incompetent their friends had been. What would they do with their lives now? Without Luffy there to rally them together, would they even stay as a crew? The navigator didn't have the strength to think of their fate. She was exhausted and weary from fighting. Maybe it was time to surrender.

The last gossip session was only heard in pieces. The words were no longer important to what type of action she would take, because there was no action to take. There was only waiting.

"Hey, I read that Vinsmoke Sanji and Lady Pudding decided to rebuild and run the Café Caramel together on Cacao Island."

"Awww! Why do they have to put it on the island furthest from Whole Cake Island? I would love to see them in person!"

"I know! They're such a cute couple!"

It was a change from when Nami first heard that they were going to get married. They sounded like the precious royal couple of Tottoland. If she didn't know the names, she would assume it was a completely different couple. It was the final push for her to let go.

It may have been that second. It may have been that hour. Nami could no longer tell time, so it didn't matter. After being trapped in her body for a period of time, there was a sudden feeling of weightlessness. A soft glow warmed her face. No longer burdened with the physical laws of gravity, she floated up and opened her eyes.

Beneath her was a corpse. The eyes were covered in burn scars and swollen shut. Half of her ginger hair was shaved off, revealing scorch marks damaging her ears. That was only her head. The rest of her body was in no better shape, but it was covered with linen sheets.

Staring at the unrecognizable reflection of her former self, Nami took a moment to process everything. "Damn…" she whispered and blinked. "I'm dead."

"That you are, kiddo," a voice commented. Nami spun around in mid air to see a strong female figure standing at the end of the medical bed. Her appearance was the same as Nami remembered as a child all those years ago. Long fuchsia hair was shaved on either side of her head, creating a Mohawk down the middle that went into a ponytail at the back. A cigarette hung from grinning lips. Did souls still smoke in the afterlife? Not that you could ever complain about that to this woman. Doing so would give you a backhand to the face.

"Bell-mere-san!" Nami exclaimed. Then she dove straight for her mother figure and wrapped her arms around her. Tears began to fall down her cheeks. "I've missed you so much!"

"Missed you, too!" The older woman pat her on the back. Pulling away, Bell-mere looked back to her daughter's corpse. She clicked her tongue in disapproval. "You sure made a mess of yourself before you died."

"Not much worse than getting shot in the face," Nami retorted, then immediately regretted the bratty move. She never hated Bell-mere for sacrificing herself that day. Arlong was the one to blame and now he was no longer a problem. Rather than receiving a lecture from her adoptive mother, Nami was surprised to see a smile instead.

"Are you ready to go home?" Bell-mere asked her in a soft voice. It was such a simple question, but Nami had no idea how to reply. Where was "home" even going to be?

The more she thought of it, the more the navigator realized that she wasn't exactly ready to move on anywhere. She slowly shook her head while she was lost in thought. "I need to confess something before I go," she finally clarified.

Bell-mere nodded, seeming to understand. "Then let me help you," she smiled again. Taking Nami's hand, she closed her eyes and said, "Focus on who you want to see."

Nami closed her eyes as instructed and saw one person in her mind. _Sanji-kun…_ There was a gentle squeeze on her hand from the other woman. Brown eyes slowly opened to see that they were in a large pink bedroom in part of the reconstructed Whole Cake Chateau. The striped carpet was dizzying and the large teddy bear in the corner gave the room a dream-like quality.

Bell-mere slowly tugged on her hand until she turned her attention to the king-size, four-poster bed with draped canopy hung overhead. Nami took a step and then froze. What if Pudding and Sanji-kun were… in the middle of something? They were a married couple now, after all. The thought immediately made her sick, and if she were still attached to her human bodily functions, she would have surely thrown up. But as strange as it would have been to walk in on such an act, Nami couldn't think of going an eternity without telling Sanji-kun the truth. She quickly overcame her hesitancy continued forward.

Thankfully, as she approached the bed, she was relieved to see that both parties were asleep. Not only that, but they were as far apart from each other as they could be, with Pudding sleeping on the right side of the bed and her husband on the far left. Nami couldn't help smiling at the sight. Kneeling down on the left side of the bed, she studied her crewmate's face while he was asleep. Did he always look so tired? She slowly reached out and, with a feather-light touch, traced the wrinkles on the side of his left eye. Poor Sanji-kun. He was only 21-years-old and he was already getting lines from worrying.

From his eye, Nami traced her fingers down his cheek. Then, she began to stroke his blond hair behind his ear. It was something she had always longed to do when she was alive. There were still many things she had wanted to do before she died. And now she would never have the chance. She frowned, burdened by the thought.

With a sigh, she turned her attention back to the man sleeping in front of her. "Sanji-kun," she whispered while continuing to play with his hair. "Sanji-kun, can you hear me?" She was met with incoherent mumbling in response. It made her smile. "Sanji-kun, _gomen, ne_ ," she apologized. "It looks like we won't be able to sail together anymore. I'm… dead." Her fingers paused and then continued to comb through the blond strands. "I wanted to see you one last time before I go and say thank you for everything you've ever done for me." Tears began to form in her eyes again. "You were always so kind to me, even when I didn't deserve it," she nodded slightly. "It may not have seemed like I ever appreciated it, but I did."

There was a moment of silence while Nami attempted to gather her courage. When she was ready, she continued. "I… also wanted you to know that…" she struggled. Her mouth closed and opened, unable to get out the words. Faced with the truth that she would never be able to say it again, she finally confessed. "I love you." The words opened a floodgate of emotions that she had been holding back for so long. "More than anyone," her hushed voice shook with remorse, "more than anything… I love you." Her tears flowed freely now. "I always have. I was just too stubborn to admit it." She attempted to wipe away the tears with her left hand. "And now it's too late."

Quietly sobbing, it took a few minutes for Nami to pull herself together again. "I'm sorry," she apologized with a small laugh. "This is so unfair of me, isn't it?" She smiled and focused her attention back on him. Her right hand cupped his face. "You need to live, Sanji-kun!" Glancing to Pudding on the other side of the bed, she added, "Be a good husband and father. I know you will be" Her thumb tenderly grazed across his cheek. "Keep cooking. Do what you love. Just live!"

There was another short pause. "And… when your life ends," Nami lowered her voice, "if you'll have me, then I'll be waiting." A single tear rolled down her cheek. This was it. Leaning in, she nuzzled her nose against his. "Goodnight," she whispered and slowly kissed his lips. Her hand moved to the back of his neck and she grazed her lips across his cheek. "Goodbye," she breathed against his skin, then planted a kiss. Finally, she rested her cheek against his and sighed in his ear, "I love you."

…

"Nami-san!" Sanji sat straight up in bed and looked around the empty room, bewildered. He was gasping for breath. A tear fell from his eye, which he immediately wiped away with his left hand. Why was he crying? _What the hell kind of dream was that?!_

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 _ **A/N:** I've thrown around the idea of continuing this story with Sanji's side in the second chapter, but I may just keep it as is. We'll see._

 _ **Translation note:** "gomen, ne" = I'm sorry. This is just one area where I felt it fit better in Japanese than in English. If you listen to Nami's Japanese voice, she'll say this a lot. _


End file.
